Getting past my appearance

I’ve been making small gains in accepting who I am and how I look. Growing up appearances were really important. Our weight, the way we dressed, and our behaviour were a big deal, and I internalized those messages as a quiet kid. It was also the the time period I grew up in, the 80’s/90’s were the height of diet/appearance culture, but I could never measure up (or down) I still don’t. My weight has been a roller coaster ride right along side my mental illness. These past couple of years I have moved away from sharing “weight" centred posts on my own social media. I see much of the weight and fitness posts on social media feeding into the mindset that a person’s appearance is what’s most important, and that looking thin/fit means "healthy/successful ".

What we say as adults about appearance, health and success on social media matters, it is what young people see.....it matters. "Before and After" photos tell us nothing about actual health. Many young people right now are suffering with mental health issues, so many kids are struggling in fact that there are several months long waiting lists to speak with a professional and get help, I know this because we've needed this help. Suicide rates are up......a jog doesn't fix that, a smaller body size doesn't change the unaddressed stuff kids are suffering with right now.

I've begun caring less about what people think of me and my appearance as I age, but I have been dealing with my own internal junk. I've found it is as hard for me as running 5k was, and yes I ran 5k.

I now eat what I like within reason, and I like a variety of stuff. I wear what I like, and I move when and how I want to. I am now able to do this because the actual issue I had was properly addressed, it wasn't my weight.......! Bodies change a lot in a life span….mine definitely has, It’s normal. I’m for eating well and actually enjoying it. I'm for getting outside and allowing nature to heal you, and I’m completely for loving yourself, and wearing whatever it is your into wearing, and I'm for being completely who you are, but for me weight/appearance will no longer be an indicator of success in one’s life. Internal character growth and changing the unhealthy ways in which we think should to be celebrated more openly, reaching out for help should be celebrated with as much volume and applause as appearance based accomplishments. Growth in the areas of understanding and growing deeper empathy as a society is where value should lie, and what we should strive to change in ourselves.

I follow some amazing anti diet Instagram pages, on one I read this, “your appearance is the least interesting thing about you” I believe this is true, about you and all of us.